Published: October 18, 2008 10:18 pm         

World full of diverse personalities

There’s an old saying out there “You can catch more flies with honey that you can with vinegar.”

If that’s so true then why are there those in the world — those Type A’s or Alpha Dogs, as we often refer to them — who still insist on using fear and intimidation tactics to “lord it over” others?

Dictatorships still thrive in parts of the world; and even we in the good ole’ U.S. of A. — the Type B’s, C’s and D’s — attempt to co-exist under the thumbs of the Type A personalities.

I do realize that there are Type A’s for a reason. They are the born leaders, the movers and shakers, etc. And without them there would be a world full of followers — which, in my opinion, would be a great big mess.

But I do think you can be a “Type A” leader — and that there are ways to get to the top or get what one wants — without using anger, force or even violent measures to get there.

In the newspaper business, we deal with these strong personalities pretty regularly — such as those who get upset that a story we write was not worded just exactly the way they wanted, or they tell us exactly what they think we should write.

There are also those who think we are their own personal public relations firm, when in reality, a reporter’s job is to serve as a watchdog between those public entities and the reader, and to report the truth of the situation in an unbiased manner — no matter whose feelings may get hurt.

Myself, I try to be somewhat optimistic in my approach to any story — whether it be about a school board or council meeting or a public interest story (feature). But that is not always possible.

School board or city council meeting stories, for instance, are about letting the public know what their representatives are doing with the resources alloted to them by the voters — from how they are spending public tax dollars to how they are educating students.

It isn’t always fun or exciting, or even positive, but it has to be done.

So how do we “deal” with these Type A personalities? I am no psychiatrist or counselor, but I am one of four siblings and have had my share of dealings with the Type A person.

While a lot of people would say “just stay out of their way,” that can be difficult when one is approached directly and is sometimes an easy target to their rants and rages.

In my experience, it is best to be the proverbial honey to their vinegar. Let that person rant and rave and calmly respond to any questions or accusations they put out there. Responding as angrily as they do only makes things worse.

And sometimes, it just might be best to step away from the situation. Tell that person, “I can’t talk to you when you are like this. When you are calm, I will be more than happy to discuss the problem with you.”

If they refuse that strategy and insist upon screaming and yelling, just let them go off and then let it go. Sometimes all the person needs is an opportunity to vent their anger, and unfortunately, other people are often their targets.

As difficult as it may be, we do have to shrug it off and go on. And, in most cases, we should not expect an apology later.

In closing, it seems our job as Type B, C, or D may very well be to be the calming force for those Type A’s of the world. The blend of these personality types are what makes our families, our workplace and our world in general as diverse — as sometimes messy — as it is.



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Mary Rainwater may be reached via e-mail at mrainwater@palestineherald.com

     

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