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August 3, 2013

Life Behind the Pine Curtain: "Show him your badge!"

PALESTINE — EDITOR’S NOTE: Life Behind the Pine Curtain is a series of anecdotes collected and edited by Herald-Press Publisher Gary Connor.

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in East Texas, and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.”

The rancher said, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.....”, as he pointed out a distant location.

The DEA officer verbally exploded, saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!”

Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.

“See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish....on ANY land! No questions asked or answers given! Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?”

The rancher nodded politely, apologized and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up and saw the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher’s enormous Santa Gertrudis bull.

With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that the officer would be gruesomely gored before he reached safety. The man was clearly terrified.

The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs — (I just love this part) “Your badge! Show him your badge!”

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