Editor's Note: The East Texan is a light-hearted advice column written with colloquial savoir faire. Need advice on life in our neck of the woods? Email firstname.lastname@example.org.
What is Spam?
Email Eddie in Elkhart
It depends. If you remember black and white television programming, Spam probably means random, remnant unrecognizable pieces of pork recycled, reclaimed, stomped, compressed and processed, injected with salt, water, modified potato starch, sugar and sodium nitrite then squeezed into a can and offered for sale at your local grocery store.
On the other hand, if you watched “Saved By The Bell” as a youngster, Spam is the use of greed-induced electronic messaging systems to indiscriminately transmit unsolicited and unwanted messages in bulk, primarily in the form of advertising messages to email accounts promoting hair growth, hair removal and hair coloring products, smart phones, remedies for ADHD, ED, ESP, depression, recession and contusions, Health Tip # 527, fat burning tip of the week, psychic reading, palm reading, tea leaves reading, tarot card reading, psycho analysis, urinalysis and offers to join NRA, AARP, DU and a plethora of worthless services from companies, scam artists, con artists and ne’er-do-wells ad infinitum attempting to transfer your money into their pockets. What a difference a generation makes.