The Palestine Herald, Palestine, Texas


May 11, 2013

Life Behind the Pine Curtain: East Texas Rules of Gun Ownership

EDITOR’S NOTE: Life Behind the Pine Curtain is a series of anecdotes collected and edited by Herald-Press Publisher Gary Connor.

   If you own a gun, you will appreciate this. If not, you should get one and learn how to use it:

1-Guns have only two enemies – rust and politicians.

2-Never let someone or something that threatens you get inside arm’s length.

 3-The average response time of a 911 call is 13 minutes. The response time of a .357 is 1400 feet per second.

   4-In a life and death situation, do something . . . It may be wrong, but do something!

   5-You cannot save the planet, but you may be able to save yourself and your family.

   A reporter did a human-interest piece on the Texas Rangers.  The reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and asked him “Why do you carry a 45?”  The Ranger responded, “Because they don’t make the Colt 1911 in a 46 caliber.”

   An old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented on his wearing his sidearm.  “Sheriff, I see you have your pistol.  Are you expecting trouble?”  He promptly replied, “No Ma’am.  If I were expecting trouble, I would have brought my shotgun.”

   A man was asked by a lady visiting his home if he had a gun in the house?  He said he did.  She said, “Well I certainly hope it isn’t loaded!”  To which he said, “Of course it is loaded; it can’t work without bullets!”  She then asked, “Are you that afraid of someone evil coming into your house?” His reply was, “No, not at all.  I am not afraid of the house catching fire either, but I have fire extinguishers around, and they are all loaded, too.”

   “The Constitution shall never be construed to prevent the people of the United States who are peaceable citizens from keeping their own arms.”  Samuel Adams


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