The Palestine Herald, Palestine, Texas

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May 10, 2014

THE EAST TEXAS ADVICE COLUMN: Old men jokes

PALESTINE — Editor's Note: The East Texan is a light-hearted advice column written with colloquial savoir faire. Need advice on life in our neck of the woods? Email easttexanadvice@palestineherald.com.

Dear East Texan:

My husband plans to retire in a month. Do you know any funny jokes about old men?

Laughing in Latexo

Dear LiL:

Happy to oblige. Many exist, but here are a few of my favorites.

One old codger to another in rocking chairs on the front porch of a general store:

“I've sure gotten old!  I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.  I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.  Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.”

I received this one from a friend via email recently: “The Senility Prayer — Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.”

Always remember this:

You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.


 

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