PALESTINE — Editor's Note: The East Texan is a light-hearted advice column written with colloquial savoir faire. Need advice on life in our neck of the woods? Email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Dear East Texan:
My husband plans to retire in a month. Do you know any funny jokes about old men?
Laughing in Latexo
Happy to oblige. Many exist, but here are a few of my favorites.
One old codger to another in rocking chairs on the front porch of a general store:
“I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.”
I received this one from a friend via email recently: “The Senility Prayer — Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.”
Always remember this:
You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.