The Palestine Herald, Palestine, Texas

October 13, 2012

LIFE BEHIND THE PINE CURTAIN: Judge sets atheist holiday day

Palestine Herald-Press

— EDITOR'S NOTE: Behind the Pine Curtains is a series of anecdotes compiled and edited by Herald-Press Publisher Gary Connor.

In a small town in East Texas, an atheist filed a case against Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney from up North to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.

   The case was brought before a judge, a lifelong resident of East Texas. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case dismissed!"

   The lawyer immediately stood and objecting to the ruling said, "Your honor! How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and other religious holidays.

  “The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and other atheists have no such holidays,” the attorney argued.

   The judge leaned forward in his chair and slowly said, "But you do. Your client, counselor, is woefully ignorant."

   The lawyer said," Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."

   The judge said, “Psalms 14:1 states, 'The fool hath said in his heart, there is no God.'

Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his holiday. Court is adjourned."

   You gotta love an East Texas judge who knows his scripture.