The Palestine Herald, Palestine, Texas

Opinion

March 9, 2013

LIFE BEHIND THE PINE CURTAIN: The final word on health

EDITOR’S NOTE: Life Behind the Pine Curtain is a series of anecdotes collected and edited by Herald-Press Publisher Gary Connor.

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.

It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1.  The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2.  The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3.  The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4.  The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5.  The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

 

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