The Palestine Herald, Palestine, Texas

March 2, 2013

Life Behind the Pine Curtain: The East Texas Redneck Special Forces

Palestine Herald-Press

PALESTINE — EDITOR’S NOTE: Life Behind the Pine Curtain is a series of anecdotes collected and edited by Herald-Press Publisher Gary Connor.

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 5000-man elite fighting unit called the East Texas Redneck Special Forces (ETRSF). These East Texas boys will be dropped in Afghanistan knowing only these five facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.

2. There is no bag limit.

3. They taste just like chicken.

4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.

5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the problem in Afghanistan to be resolved by the end of the week.