With apologies to Theodor Seuss Geisel, aka Dr. Seuss
Americans of every stripe like football a lot;
But the Grinches in some parts of the country do not.
These Grinches hate football, they hate the whole season
But in an election year, we all know the reason.
It could be their shoes are a little too tight
Or they wish to tip the scales on election night.
But we think the most likely reason of all
The Grinches hearts were two sizes too small.
But whatever the reason, their heart or their shoes
They’ve chose the excuse of the Wuhan Flu.
Staring down from their State Capitals with a sour Grinchy frown
They are going to stop football in every college town.
They growl with their Grinch fingers nervously drumming
They had to find a way to stop college football from coming.
For game day these fans would awake bright and early
Rush for their tailgates faster than Todd Gurley.
Then fans young and old will enjoy a pre-game feast;
As they barbecue all kinds of animal beasts!
Then they will stand close together, some with cowbells ringing,
And those football fans will in unison start singing.
The more the Grinches thought about the anthem or a school song sing;
The more they were determined to stop the whole thing!
These Grinches applied pressure and the Big Ten gave way
Sadly the Pac 12 followed, at the end of the day.
They stopped the Patriot league and the MAC followed suit
They got the Mountain West and Ivy League to boot.
But from the Big 12, the Atlantic Coast, and SEC;
There arose a sound that brought the football Grinches to their knees.
“There will be football!” said the coaches, players and fans;
Three quarters of all major colleges from across our great land.
Football came without Joe Bruin and the Stanford Tree
It came without contract tracing and Pac 12 Fox TV.
Then the Ginches thought of something they’d not thought of before
Perhaps football to parts of America, means a little bit more.
What happened then, in the Midwest they say
These Grinches hearts changed, and they changed in a big way.
They rode into places like Columbus, and Ann Arbor too
Acting like playing football was what they always wanted to do!
Welcome football one and all, the Grinches did not cancel our Fall.